My opinion on everything

The results are in.

2009-02-05T12:20:00.002+09:00

I have so much to complain about....The Rudd governments assistance package *cough* WORST IDEA EVER *cough* or an accident on the Causeway this morning. But really lets just get on to the results for Game Time.

Firstly, Hazel deduced that I was lying about being the heaviest person I know. This was not a lie and I do actually weigh in at 121kg. This is explained a bit better by also letting you all know that I am 6ft 9in tall, and although I am a bit heavy on the BMI scale, I am not too bad. However, Hazel did correctly note that I do not have a problem with vanity, so for a partial reveal I will give you half a point.

Next Tabby guessed that I was lying about being the smartest person I know. This was also a truth and I do have degrees in physics, law and commerce. Unfortunately none of them appear to be helping me in the currect job market which it appears I might be a far more interested party to in the near future. However, once again, for showing her workings, I will award Tabby some partial credit. When I was in school we had those library cards that get filled in as your borrow the books. I was doing fantastically well with mine and had read probably more books than anybody else in my class. I was told though that they would be confiscating my card from me since THEY didn't believe I was using the library seriously. Who are they to judge?!? Anyway, my card was taken from me because they deemed that reading the same 30 Garfield comic books over and over again was not proper use of the system. I never have been issued with another card and for noting this in her answer, I award Tabby with one point.

Obviously I believe my opinion is the most important, that one was a bit of a gimme!

So it comes down to the option of the most athletic or the most environmental.....and with the greatest answer and by far best deduction it is 'd' for the win. I could not have said it better myself than this. "Someone with any education would know that global warming and carbon loading is a pure fallacy..." It is simply the greatest scare fest of our time. Whilst I do recycle some items, I definetly do not ride my bike to work and nor do I want any kind of dodgy brothers carbon trading scheme. So 'd' gets 10 points for this response and is crowned the clear winner of know your potato.

And anybody who now wants to argue the point with me about saving the environment, lets not forget that I am 6'9" and 121kg.

CPI

2009-01-28T15:25:00.002+09:00

So the CPI numbers come out today and tell a fairly predictable tale. With the average price of petrol falling 18.2% against the previous quarter, and this forming a rather large portion of the average consumer's spending, the total CPI figure for the quarter is negative 0.3%. But if you strip out the change due to petrol prices (which is highly volatile at the best of times) then you would get a very different picture.

Lets get down to the nuts and bolts of living here.....food and alcohol. Lets say you go on a picnic down to the local park and stop in at the bottle-o on the way through. Yes, it is cheaper to get there, but fruit prices for the quarter are up 8%, take-aways up 1.5% and veggies up 3.3%. To give you an idea, if we annualise this then in nine months from now fruit will cost 36% more! And I can tell you that beer, spirits and wine have each fared not much better.

This rant of course has nothing to do with the fact that I dont drive a car and so get no benefit from falling fuel prices. Well maybe a little.

And as for the game-time post, the results will be posted soon. I am pleased to say though that of the 3 people who submitted a guess, one of you has got it correct.

Game time

2009-01-16T12:31:00.002+09:00

Since the blogging is so bad over here, I may as well try for some audience participation to see how well the people know the potato.

Lets play the old 4 truths and one lie game to see if you can work out what the lie is.

I consider myself the smartest person I know - To prove this I have accumulated 3 different university degrees in different fields. A degree each for physics, law and commerce. I am also studying some postgraduate courses right now.
I consider myself the most environmentally friendly person I know - I recycle more than most people, ride my bike to work and make more effort towards reducing my carbon footprint than anybody. I am all for a carbon credit system so that we can all focus on what we as humans put in to the atmosphere.
I consider myself the most athletic person I know - To prove this I have played 2 different sports professionally (not at the top levels but as long as you are payed to play a game and sign contracts then its professional). I have played both basketball and Aussie Football at this level. I am taking on a position of coach this year for a senior football team.
I consider myself the heaviest person I know - I rarely meet anybody that weighs more than I do. I weigh 121kg (270 pounds).
I consider my opinion to be the best around - I am so confident of this that i named my own blog 'my opinion on everything' because I think more people should listen to me.

So what are the truths and which one is the lie?

My Favourite People

2009-01-13T09:34:00.002+09:00

I have for a long time valued quality moments in front of the tv screen. Spending days and weeks just staring at the idiot box as faces come and go. Some are good, some are bad. But it takes a truly fantastic character to stay on the tube for a generation.

So let me tell all of my faithful readers out there about a very special man. Starting broadcasting all the way back in 1977, there has been one true great of sports journalism and presenting in this country. And just one mention of his name eludes memories of heroics, goals and complicated Eastern European names (but NEVER poetry).

Australia and Hungary's own LES MURRAY. Never has there been a greater Australian!

2009-01-06T10:15:00.003+09:00

Well I am back from the Sydney holiday and can say that I loved every minute of it. Back in a real city (instead of a sleepy outpost) with all the fun and excitement of Christmas and New Year celebrations. Here is a brief update of the goings on...

Worst present received - Model car

I do not even have a drivers licence. Never have..... What would make somebody think I would be interested in collecting model cars??

Best show on Pay TV - America's Most Smartest Model

Now I dont have pay TV so it is a bit of a treat when I go home to turn on to MTV and see what it produces and much like a midget riding a unicycle, it never fails to put a smile on my face. This show pits models against each other in a battle of the brains and looks in a weekly knock-out style competition...how can this be more entertaining you ask....Because they give them special challenges such as 'create your own fake tan lotion and apply it to a pasty nerd for a photo shoot'. The result of course was horrible for the poor nerds, but an absolute win for television.

Notable efforts to programs such as Next, Date my Mom, Parental Control and I Want to Work for Diddy. Seriously, if you have Foxtel and do not watch these shows, you are wasting your life away!

Biggest Realisation - I am not a good blogger

Deal with it!

Christmas Break

2008-12-22T12:02:00.002+09:00

I am going home.......see you again in a few weeks.

Worse than my opinion

2008-12-17T11:51:00.003+09:00

I thought about listing all the blogs that are better than mine, but then decided the list would be far too long. Instead, in a new series of blogs, I will find and expose blogs that are clearly worse than mine. This series should at least get me 2 new posts.

The first in the series I found a few months ago whilst doing some research in to investing. Because obviously, the blogoshpere is where you want to get your investment recommendations from.

Ladies and germs.....I present to you http://www.investdownunder.blogspot.com/.

Now that seems like a reasonable place to start your investment dreams right. Information about "free seminars" from Financial Planners and Wealth Coaches. It seemed I had stumbled on Aladin's cave for blogging websites....until this happened. I followed it back to the main web page and discovered, much to my entertainment, that my new financial planner to the stars, enjoys reading phantom comics......in bed.....topless.......with Children....

And going from his arms, it appears he is only slightly higher than a yeti on the evolutionary scale.

Seriously, who puts this on a professional web page advertising their mad finance skillz?

2008-12-16T11:49:00.001+09:00

It just occured to me that maybe my opinion doesn't matter. Maybe I should stop telling so many people what it is.

At least that would give me more blogging time.

Movember

2008-12-11T15:09:00.002+09:00

Movember in australia is both the greatest and worst time of the year. Why? Because nearly every man (and indeed a number of women) grow as big a moustache as possible for a month and if there is one thing I enjoy, it is growing a mo'. The idea being that you must be clean shaven as at 1 November and the rest is left up to your artistic interpretation.

The bad part : Thanks to the Irish heritage, my mo' is very poor at growing either quickly or without chunks missing from it. So I end up each year with some cobbled together coverage that by the time I reach the end of the month has most people calling me 'Sanchez' and asking me for peso's.

However it is all in for a good cause and I was able to raise nearly $500 for research in to prostate cancer (which I may add is a more common cancer than breast cancer). But to ensure the ladies are missing out on their own moment in the sun, a few of the girls I know will be taking part in Fanuary.

If any Americans need to know more about this I will be happy to explain further.

Tea lady

2008-11-19T16:17:00.002+09:00

There has been some talk recently about practical jokes that have been played. I must admit, I do love a good practical joke and I am actually quite good at creating and delivering the necessary evilness to do so. But growing up as the youngest of three boys, I think it is fair to say that for most of my early life, I was on the wrong end of the joke. That however takes nothing away from the magnificence of some of the work the elderly duo accomplished.

My favourite (and I can still recall the exact situation to this day) occured when I would just a wee fellow of I am guessing 5 years old. My eldest brother's basketball team had made it to the state championships and my family and the team were travelling about 5 hours by train from Sydney to Albury for the competition. All of the kids (including myself) had of course left our parents to wonder the train, no doubt after I cried to my parents that they wouldn't let me tag along. It was then that they all spotted this little old lady on the train who must have been at least 90. My brothers took it upon themselves to hatch a plan so all their mates can laugh along.

They convinced me to approach the lady and ask her if she has ever had a "cup of tea", which to a five year old is a perfectly reasonable question (even the 90 year old would be alright with the idea I figured). However, and here is the gag, they told me that there was a special word that old ladies use for tea, so I should ask her if she has ever had one of those.

I will never forget the look on the poor ladies face when I asked her.........

Excuse me - Have you ever had an erection?

New post....yay

2008-11-10T17:10:00.002+09:00

So on Friday, my firm which employs(ed) about 45 people, decide it right to let about 10 of them go due to the financial crisis. Have you heard about that? Speak to Kochie if you haven't. Well anyway, One of the girls let go is the daughter of a good friend who I was meeting, as well as about 25 other blokes, at the pub Friday night (It was a football club catch-up and a good chance to get away from the women folk). To be fair, he was completely kind about the whole thing, even though I felt like a turd.

So I had about 10 pints of beer to calm the old nervous system. It is not a cool position to be telling people that their job no longer exists after all the time they have put in (you become as popular as a midget gynaecologist....not sure why they are unpopular but I dont think they would do much business for some reason). It makes you feel like a right arse actually. So most of the guys started leaving by around 10:30 for other places and I was nearly on my way home, when a friend who had been in Toronto for about 2 years showed up unexpectedly. He had only just flown in that day. Of course, I had to have another few after that.

All compliments must go to the little-red-haired girl though, who not only did not complain about me arriving home at 3 in the morning, but had ordered 2 large pizza's and left them out for me. The next morning I woke with a hangover and only 1 hour to go before I was due to start bidding on a home auction* to the pretty girl telling me "I knew you wouldn't have dinner, so thought you might like some pizza when you get home". If I had of known marriage would have been like this I would have done it years ago!

*More on this story in a later post...I promise to get to it before June next year.

What economic problems

2008-10-30T12:54:00.002+09:00

Good news folks......it appears that they (whomever 'they' may be) got so confused trying to actually work out what it is that I do, have decided to not only keep me on, but to get me an assistant as well.

Seriously who put these people in charge??

By the way, you do not even want to know the hiring policy I will have in place for the assistants job.

The king is dead. Long live the king!

2008-10-17T16:35:00.003+08:00

Unfortunately for me, I have a job involved heavily in the share market. We earn revenue from the percentage of shares held. Over the course of the last 6 months, my company has gone from a position of a small margin profit, to a revenue which is now significantly less than costs. Clearly this was never going to last long.

Surprisingly, I was retained by the company (they clearly do not know what I actually do, which is no surprise because I too have little idea of what I actually do either). But as of this afternoon, the company has passed over to another and I am effectively employed in what I would classify tenuous circumstances.

The bad news : I may at some point (soon) be completely unemployed.
The good news : Apparently I can still get drunk at lunch, as proved today.

The only question remaining is whether the corporate credit card still works.....I guess there is only one way to resolve that issue. See you all at the pub.

Krudd-tacular

2008-10-16T12:47:00.002+08:00

I keep meaning to come on here and post a long-winded rant about the economy and all these goings on. Then I realise that nobody would come in and read it, especially not that jackass Glen Stevens!! The bloke couldn't set a decent interest rate policy if it came up and bit him on the bum. And then that fool Krudd goes ahead and kicks his own moronic ideas in to the pot.

Goodbye international holidays and imported goods, the aussie dollar will officially be leaving the building in 3 months.

St George

2008-09-02T12:05:00.001+08:00

So what the heck is the crazy dragon emblem that shows when you come to this page in the address bar. I sure didn't put it there!

My opinion on Schapelle Corby

2008-06-27T12:09:00.002+08:00

Guilty!

For any non-Australian's that stumble upon this here blog, Schapelle Corby is one of the biggest news stories in the past few years.

RECAP : Bogan girl from Queensland (Bogan-ville) is caught at Denpasar airport in Indonesia with 4.2kgs of marijuana in her body board bag. Poor ol' Schapelle claims it was not hers and she has never seen it before in her life. Indonesians attempt to impose the death penalty but only manage to lock her up for 20 years. Public outcry to save her life blames it on airport bag handlers creating an international drug cartel. Court case fails miserably and Schapelle is left to sit in jail for a while.

The thing that was a complete giveaway for me is that she was attempting to take a 'boogie-board' in to Bali all the way from Australia. This has two clear faults.

1. You can just get a board in Bali for crying-out-loud. Instead of carting a 4.2kg board from Brisbane to Sydney to Bali, why would't you just save all the effort and rent/buy one over there...unless of course you are importing 4.2kg of pot.

2. Anybody that would be serious enough about body boarding to take their board with them, would call it a body board. Not our friend Schapelle who likes to call it a boogie-board like she is some 6 year old kid on Christmas holidays.

Also, if the baggage handlers were to be involved in a drug cartel, you would think that surely they would be transporting something a little more 'edgy' that pot considering the risks that are involved.

Not that this is any real opinion. And thank goodness this blog is private, otherwise Mercedes may try and sue me.

Anyway there was a frickin' sweet documentary aired over two nights this week that basically links the Corby family (Father, Brother, Sister, etc.) right in to the middle of the drugs trade. Had a great time watching and I hope now that Schapelle just serves out her time in silence. Whilst 20 years may appear extreme to others, that is the Indonesian law, so if you want to break a law in another country, be prepared to pay their penalty.

I blame Blogger

2008-06-24T13:17:00.001+08:00

I tried to post an entry yesterday but then blogger blocked it for some unknown reason. Then it all became clear to me. Why don't I just blame the lack of posts for the last seven months on blogger blocking me. Yeah that's right, I have posted over 230 entries since December and that damned Blogger has stopped every one. Again, apportioning blame to others is what I do best.

Fear of commitment

2008-06-19T12:22:00.003+08:00

In recognition that it is probably my own fault (I don't like to take blame for things) that there is no audience to this blog, since a new post arrives approximately once every 3 months and when it does it consists of little substance. I have decided to post more regularly, even if I have bugger all to say.

My theory being that the few people that come here must feel pangs of guilt if they were to not keep coming back and at least recognising that I am still posting, even if it is as interesting as a conversation with the hamburglar ("rabble, rabble, rabble", I mean at least grimace can form words even though he is a giant thickshake).

Is it obvious that I require attention? Does my neediness look big in this??

Birthday

2008-06-18T12:44:00.002+08:00

So it was my birthday yesterday and nobody in the blogosphere even took the time to leave a comment.

p.s. if anybody is still reading, this post is clearly the biggest shout-out for some comment love ever! This poor blog is dying a slow and unnatural death, due entirely to lack of posts.

WBC vs The Rest of Them

2008-05-12T16:53:00.002+08:00

Finally one of the big four banks has lobbed a bid on to St George Bank's doorstep. This has been on the cards for a few years now since the takeover restrictions were removed. And who better to know the value of the company than the CEO who spent her whole tenure at SGB trying to proof the company from such a takeover in Gail Kelly. Just months on to her new gig as the head of Westpac and she has turned and devoured the dragon!

What does all this mean. Well all the banks have been busy building stakes in SGB over the years to protect one of the other big banks from taking it without giving them a say. So what will they say? Will they let Westpac walk through and have it? I would assume not but anything can be bought at the right price.

The real kicker for me will be how the rookie treasurer Wayne Swan reacts to it all. At some point he will have to make a decision in regards to the national interest and that will be the cause for some giggles. Having seen the way the banks have walked all over him in his first six months in power, I wonder if he will feel the need to react in kind.

This will all be far more interesting than that mega-merger going on between RIO and BHP, but should take just about as long as the games in both the business world and political world carry far more weight and therfore far more interesting tactics.

Spud Time and other excuses for not posting

2008-04-24T12:21:00.004+08:00

I had considered going for the record for the most under-maintained blog on the internet but the wait was killing me.

Anyway, I have actually been quite busy since my last update. Not only have I actually gone and gotten myself engaged, which carries numerous tasks with it (more later), but work has been extremely busy and taken up mouch more of my time than usual. So as this shunting moves through the train yard that is my life, the little caboose that is the blog falls from the end.

So let us recap:

Bought engagement ring (relatively simple, slight expense but not too bad)

Propose (Very enjoyable, slight expense but all round top night)

Arrange Engagement Party (what?... Is this necessary...Cant we just be engaged a bit first..find out my opinion no longer require...somewhat expensive)

Arrange Engagement Party 2 (why too??...Is this necessary...Cant they just fly over here...find out again that my opinion no longer required....rather expensive)

Attend Engagement Party (The Broken Hill is a fine pub for engagement parties)

Attend Engagement Party 2 (Slightly tiring but another fine engagment party held on a boat off Sans Souci)

Have to shop with gift certificates (Apparently we have to buy boring items such as towels and linen......why cant we buy Xbox's, big screens and Foxtel???.....No longer give my opinion openly again)

Arrange Wedding (what????...Cant we just be engaged a bit first.....Find our my opinion really is no longer require.....EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE)

As noted, work has been piling up throughout this whole process as well and the little red haired girl has suggested that I try to cut back some activities to allow more time with her. The pie-graph beneath is an accurate representation of my time since the engagement party #1. As can be seen here. She has at least 10% of my time available as free time. Admittedly some of that forms tv time, but that should be enjoyed as a couple right?

Anyway, in the end I have agreed to give up Gaelic football this year, freeing up an additioal 2% of my time. That should appease her shouldn't it? Now if only I can work out a way to play Gaelic football in Sydney or Brisbane all my problems would be solved.

Also please note that blogging forms a very small portion of this graph. So much so that the blogging piece is invisible to the human eye. Apparently hawks also cannot pick it up but it is detectable by bats with their sonar technology.

2007-12-17T12:24:00.000+09:00

My life really is more interesting that this blog would otherwise have you believe. It is just that I am rather bad at expressing it.

Merry Christmas.

My opinion on cemeteries

2007-08-22T16:39:00.000+08:00

I am fortunate enough to know what day I am going to die. Unfortunately though I am not sure what year. It was not given to me by any type of clairvoyant or mystique, but I have simply alwats known that I will die on the 22nd of August. Yes that is today.

It has it ups and downs knowing your death day. It is obviously a bit of a downer when you are in the middle or August and the day is coming up, but once you pass by the 22nd (assuming that I do not die on the way home from work) you have a clear 364 more days when you can do whatever you bloody well like, safe in the knowledge that you will not die.

Mind you, the little red-haired girl has never been comfortable with my premonitions and flat refuses to discuss my death day with me. For some reason she finds it a little creepy and so chooses to forget I ever mentioned it. I think that once again this year she will forget about this all important date....no card, no concern, no nothin'!

But when my fateful 22nd of August finally rolls around, what will I do? I am not currently sure whether I would like to be roasted or smothered? Maybe I can do both, kind of like a Maori hangi. But in all honesty, aren't fully blown cemeteries a bit of a misuse of space. This thing is, most folks want them to be placed near to major cities so that they can visit them and all that kind of thing, but with over-population and so forth, these typical cemeteries are taking up too much room. Plus the real estate prices are now astronomical and the government may not allow pre-retiree's to use there super money for a burial plot, I mean, what exactly does the legislation mean when they mention severe financial hardship? Does death count?.

So for me folks, cemeteries are a relic, outdated and a poor use of pastoral land. Lets get everybody involved in the Hangi system! Thereby saving space and re-claiming lost culture. The best of both worlds (and no, I do not mean the spirit world). And let the only remaining cemetery be the dog cemetery out at Corrigin, because that place is sweet.

My dad, Homer (thats right, I am introducing characters too) also has a known death day, but my Mum (Marge) refuses to discuss this date also. What is it with women and emotions.

Finally I would like to leave you with a little known Australian cemetery fact. Did you know that Australia has the only cemetery in the world with street lights, the locals call it Adelaide.

My opinion on Max Kay

2007-08-16T13:00:00.000+08:00

So my one reader has posted one question. Good start.

When a was a bit younger, I often considered that I would like a career in politics. I consider myself to be a reasonable conversationalist and have strong opinions about many things. It was only later that I discovered, that to be in politics you need to talk as little as possible to avoid issues and have no opinion about anything but the polls. So I then decided that this career would not be for me. Although I still harbour a desire to change the system and still enjoy seeing Pauline Hanson on the tube telling me about Muslim terrorism and how all people except redheads are evil. In reality I think you will find the opposite is true!

When I considered a position in politics though, I always considered the federal level only. Sure there is a need for state governments to handle some issues, but nobody really cares. You wouldn't have believed my surprise when I discovered that there is an even lower level of government!

I also grew up in the sunny Sydney suburb of Cronulla (I wonder of Pauline Hanson has ever been there) and had during my formative years heard of far away lands where people still had simple country lives. This place was known as Perth. I never imagined I would even make a trip to this overgrown country town or even that they required government consideration, just a crazy sheriff and a deputy that did all the real work should be all that was required. Well to my shock and horror, I actually moved to this zany side of the country and found out that people here believe that they are actually living in a 'city' and believe that the rest of the country finds them somehow relevant enough to have both state and local governments. I mean, what can the mayor of Perth possibly have to do with his day except complain about the heat like every other bogan does?

To make things worse, the lowest level also have the most ridiculous fashion sense in their leaders. What is the deal with all those Mr. T necklaces? Even the Queen of bloody England has gotten over wearing her crap around when she can avoid it. But not our Max Kay. He remains photogenic and proud behind his pile of shining crud and robes. I have seen him a few times on 'sweet and sour' though. He seems an alright bloke.

My Opinion on Everything

2007-08-10T10:12:00.000+08:00

My dear poor mal-nourished and forgotten blog. I am truly surprised that Madonna or Angelina Jolie hasn't offered to adopt you yet.

Although it appears otherwise (from my feeble blogging attempts), I actually do have an opinion on everything, it is just that I am very much uninspired. So stealing an idea from another blog that I read, I wish to open up my blog for a Q & A session or perhaps just a request for my opinion. So if anybody out there actually logs on* to this page, feel free to pop a questions, any question in to the comments and you will be berated about it with my opinion before you know it in the next post. No question too big, no opinion too small.

At least it will make me accountable to my reading public. Hey, I may even get a return visitor.

*Thats what the kids say today right?

Qantis

2007-07-05T12:28:00.000+08:00

Long-term readers of this blog may be aware that my spelling is not always perfect and nor do I claim that it is. But I am particularly worried when the flying kangaroo, on their in-flight map, cannot spell a town name correctly. Of all the industries where you would think it is important to know where each town is and the towns actual name, you would think that aviation would at least make an honourable mention if it didn't qualify for the top 5.

Then again I may be wrong, there may actually be a town called Gelong just to the south of Melbourne.

Please feel free to check the map next time you are flying, it has been wrong every time that I have seen it.

Then to add to the blow, the flight also aired the channel nine evening news edition. Behind the news reader was a note about the proposed takeover of 'Bendigco Bank'. Surely somebody should be checking these things.

State of dissapointment

2007-05-23T20:25:00.000+08:00

I know that WA is a long way from traditional league heartland, but you would think that the 'roaches and the cane toads would surely be more popular than 'Wine me Dine me'.

On the positive side of the coin, I have just seen an ad for the Amazing Race where the midget can't get on a horse. Now that has picked my spirits up.

Famous Faces

2007-05-02T13:08:00.000+08:00

I enjoy watching temptation as much as possible, but there is one thing I simply do not understand about the game. Whenever the famous faces board is up for grabs, the contestant selects somebody they like or thinks looks good.

If I were to ever have the opportunity at the board, I would select somebody I do not like or think is ugly, just so I do not have to look at them again whilst leaving the people I like on the board.

Note: This means I would generally select Sigrid Thornton.

Delta

2007-04-27T14:04:00.000+08:00

My world has been shaken up with a little bit of change lately.

1. One of my very best friends, a nervous little thing, has taken a 3 month move with her job to the wonderful city of Edinburgh. I am insanely jealous and will miss the company.

2. I have been working in a shared office with my good friend the Kitti Kat, for about 3 years now. We share a small cubicle in the heart of Perth for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. We spend more time together than most couples and I probably manage to annoy her more than anybody as well. The Kitti Kat is leaving today for a 5 week tour from Beijing to St Petersberg. Again I am insanely jealous but I have linked her brand new travel blog to the blog pages.

3. I have just been notified that my rental place will no longer be renewing my lease and I will have to be out fairly soon. I have been there over six years now and so I have gathered rather a lot of useless junk. But it is my junk and I refuse to throw it out.

4. I have changed to the new Google system. Bloody corporate invasion!

They say a change is as good as a holiday, but right now I think I would trade it in for the holiday. So I have two new best friend positions now available, any offers are welcome.

Return of the Mack

2007-03-30T13:44:00.000+08:00

Well it has surely been a long break since my last entry. It is not that I had forgotten about the ol' blog or didn't care, it is just that I do not seem to have the time anymore. But rest assured that I have spent the last few months building up quite a good account balance on the frequent flyer card.

I received an update the other day from my site tracking software that told me five people had dropped by the blog during the week. My apologies to those five for the lack of updates, but who are you??? Surely you must have given up on me by now!

When I first began this blog I had a grand vision of an outlet for me to expose my inner thoughts and ideas. I am actually a very private person with my emotions and thoughts which is a detriment to my life relationships. I had thought that by creating a blog with no links back to myself, it would allow me to release some of this issue. Alas it has not. I still cannot seem to break these shackles.

I think that may actually be why I have retreated from blogging. It is just not living up to the expectations that I had wanted from myself.

After all this time, this entry will probably appear to be very negative and like I am somewhat depressed, but I am truly happy. Just not a good blogger.

2007-01-09T12:12:00.000+09:00

I have just read a post over at 'but slenderly' about Nancy's little trip over to Paris. I have been fortunate enough to spend some time in Paris and fell absolutely and undeniably in love with the city, with its only rival being the rockin' town of Dublin. I long to go back some day. As for me, I only made it to Sydney over the Christmas break, but if anybody out there has a job for me available in Paris or Dublin (garbage man would be sufficient), feel free to drop me a line.

P.S. Best place in the world to be is atop the Arc de Triomphe. And for only 5 euro, not bad value either!

Let me entertain you.

2006-12-10T15:12:00.000+09:00

I have a friend who collects basketball shoes. To many people this seems a strange pastime, and for the most part I agree. I do not know how many women can claim that they love shoes and could shop for them all day long, however there are some quality basketball shoes out there with strange gadgets and knick-knacks that I think warrant a collection.

Anyway, back to the story. He collects so many that they are piled up around his house (and his workplace) and are generally worth at least $300 a pair. I take great pleasure in telling him that there is no use buying shoes if you are not going to wear them, but it doesn't bother him.

So last Friday he received a call from his 'shoe agent'. It appears that one Robbie Williams of Take That fame (I think he might have been doing some solo work lately though), wants a pair of shoes that the shoe agent did not have. Shoe Agent recalled though, that my friend had a pair in the correct size. From there it was just a few calls to sort out a shoe exchange from collector to ego.

Some quite funny things of note happened during these events though:

1. My friends wife is a HUGE fan of Robbie. So the shoe box was sent including a love letter but no explanation that it wasn't from my friend. I guess he is just happy Robbie didn't call later asking for a rendezvous.

2. My friend took the sole out of the shoe before sending them off and wrote his name all over the bottom of it. So Robbie if you are reading this, your "soul" belongs to my friend.

3. He was offered in exchange for the shoes a) backstage passes for the concert or b) a replacement pair of the shoes plus credit for his next three pairs. He doesn't care for Robbie and so took 3 pairs of shoes.

4. I told a friend of mine, lets call her Kitty Kat, that he had taken the backstage passes and had a spare one for her (I couldn't resist). She ran into the cafe where he was and screamed at him for the passes. I laughed all afternoon.

And for those of you who are interested, the shoes were the Jordan series 4. Apparently he wore them on stage that night.

2006-11-27T15:00:00.000+08:00

How come when people say that something is "sweet" it is a good thing, but when something is "unsavoury" it is a bad thing. You would think that they would have generally the same meaning.

Just a thought.

looking forward, looking back.

2006-11-22T14:03:00.000+08:00

I am just going to clear the air a little bit and put a post up about not much in particular. That is right, I won't make any jokes at all or even refer to any pop-culture personalities. By doing this nobody can get confused and we can hopefully learn to live a peaceful and happy existence.

There, that ought to keep the seppo's and bender's happy.

2006-11-14T13:48:00.000+08:00

So the little red-haired girl has decided to become the little black-haired girl. What is it with women and the need to change everything all the time. If it is not hair colour, it is the way the furniture is situated.

What is wrong with living in a dank, cluttered mess that never changes?!? It has always suited me just fine.

There have been some cases of change for change sake not being the best option, the names Michael Jackson and Boy George spring to mind. And once these processes are in motion, there may not be any going back. It is for this reason that I refuse to change my hair colour.

At least the police can't trace me

2006-10-30T17:10:00.001+08:00

A current theme amongst a few blogs, is the questions "What's the worst thing a sibling has done to you?"

Being the youngest of three boys, I could spend the rest of my blogging life writing answers to this question, but I best narrow the field down to just one.*

Whilst holidaying with the family in Tasmania, we stayed at a very nice little cottage with an open fire-place. It was all very quaint and loving, unlike my brothers. Let me set the scene, I took my evening shower as probably directed by mother (I have never been fond of washing). When I returned to the main room, the brothers were sitting down by the fire. They asked me to come over and play a game with them. Desperate to be liked and accepted, like all younger siblings, I agreed like a fool, that a game sounded lovely. Maybe we would play Uno, maybe eye-spy. Alas, we played neither. Now, I am particularly partial to money, always have been (in fact, I can remember admiring 'Alex' from the show growing pains for being such a penny-pincher). So the brothers pointed to three rocks sitting in front of us and told me that under one of these rocks was a dollar coin, if I selected the correct rock I could take the money. Playing on my weaknesses you see. But there was actually no money under any of them.

That doesn't sound too horrible I can hear you think, well, whilst I had been off showering, the brothers had actually placed all three rocks in the fireplace for around the 20 minutes that I had been off and had only just scooped them out with the little shovel and lined them up in a row. Burnt the skin clean off my fingers to their amusement.

On the positive though, when mum found out, she insisted that each of them had to each pay me a dollar. I probably didn't stop smiling for a week!

* Other incidents of note that are not included but deserve honourable mention as follows:

1. Asking an 80-year old lady if she has ever had an orgasm
2. Tying me by the neck to my bed whilst they went and had breakfast and only untying me on their return
3. Breaking my tooth out at the gum
4. Putting me in a wheelie bin and pushing me down the street

Still, I wouldn't have any other brothers than those two.

Too late, she cried...

2006-10-26T13:11:00.000+08:00

So the CPI came out yesterday and showed a whopping 3.9% increase for the year. Some of you may remember my call for the last rise to be 50 bpt instead of the 25 bpt that we got. The RBA however believe that they are untouchable.

The background - The RBA is charged with the duty of maintaining inflation at a long-term average of between 2 and 3 percent. Now I don't know about you, but if I only had one aim in my job, and missed it by around 56% (being 3.9 when I was aiming for 2.5), I don't think my employers would be overly impressed. But yet, everybody tries to tell me they are doing a wonderful job and apply the following nonsense arguements.

1. It's a long-term average so it can go outside the range from time to time - Why bother having a board. The long-term average will always settle around 2 to 3 percent. It is there one stated aim to keep it there but they failed. It is similar to failing a subject at school and then trying to argue to your parents that at least your long-term average is a pass.

2. You have to look at the underlying inflation rate and take out volatile items like petrol and bananas - Crap! inflation is inflation. It is based on an average basket of goods being purchased by an average consumer, you cannot just pick and choose items as you like. If prices rise, it is because of supply and demand which is what you lot are meant to be looking after.

3. It would hurt to east coast too much to raise rates just to look after a booming WA - It is the reserve bank of Australia people, not just the bank of Sydney. I am quite certain that any rate rises in the past were not viewed in the context of how Perth would suffer when the East coast was flying.

I think that the RBA will move another 25 bpt in November, but again, they are missing the point....literally!

Building an empire

2006-10-25T14:00:00.000+08:00

I don't think I have had enough photo's on my blog, in fact, I haven't had one yet.

So here is one.

I didn't take it, nor do I like it. Just thought I should.

It's my daddy's company, and I will sell if I want too

2006-10-19T13:08:00.000+08:00

Whilst I do not think I have the share trading audience I probably need to make this an interesting post, I guess I have to start somewhere.

As a lot of you may know, James Packer has gone and sold half of his father's prized media assets. The proceeds from this sale will more than likely be ploughed back in to a ever growing gambling division. So that is the basis of the story, but here is why I think JP is a lot dumber than most people think.

Kerry spent many years building his media empire, which has a crowning jewel of channel Eddie. This gives PBL a public face through which to tell the public what to think. I can guarantee though, that if Kerry still had a heart-beat, channel 9 would not have been sold. People may argue that KP has sold channel 9 before to Alan Bond, which is true. But, that was when "Bondie" paid about 5 times what it was worth, held it for about 18 months and had to sell it back to KP for one-fifth of the original price when he went broke. That deal made KP very wealthy and very famous and showed that he was a very astute investor.

JP on the other hand, seems to want to prove that he is as good as his father. But clearly he is not (read as : OneTel). So he has sold-off, for a fairly average price, a cash-cow tv empire, that whilst not high growth, will produce solid returns year-on-year, in order to purchase into a risky casino operation in Macau. High risk for two main reasons being (a) Everybody wants to get a piece of that action so as a result the cost to buy in is reasonably high and effectively reduces returns on the portfolio. (b) It is not yet proven that people want to go to Macau to gamble, this is just what a few people have convinced the Macau government that might happen.

Now I am not normally the type of person who wants to see big business fail, because it creates havoc. But I think it would be somewhat entertaining if JP was to wipe out KP's legacy within 12 months of leaving the place. If James really wants to invest in casino's, surely Australia's richest man can raise funds a better way than this?

All this gives me another reason to not invest in PBL and maybe take an allotment in T3. At least JP is doing something for his country.

2006-10-03T13:17:00.000+08:00

My opinion on socks.....Whilst I was pulling on my socks one morning recently, I bit of a conundrum appeared to me. You see, there is a little hard bit on the toe of the sock where the material has been sown together. Popular belief is that this little hard bit of the sock is to be on the inside, up against the toe. WHY WOULD THAT BE?!?!

Now I am not claiming that any sort of 'princess and the pea' type scenario's are playing out here, but surely the more comfortable option would be to have the hard bit on the outside, away from the toe's. It is not like anybody can see this through the shoe anyway. But if you are wearing socks with open shoes like thongs, then you already look like a moron and so it doesn't matter then either.

From now on, I am going to wear my socks 'the right way'.

2006-09-28T13:05:00.000+08:00

I too had seen the ad's during brownlow night informing me that young Nikki Webster had done her first lingerie shoot. However I am not so self-composed and I just had to go and have a look for myself. It is much like watching womens sports, nobody else will probably see it, it will most likely be awkward and painfully boring and if any of my friends find out that I look at it I will probably be dis-owned.

But look at it I did.

Each photo Nikki had the exact same expression on her face, but I am not quite sure what the expression is. It is either a) I am scared, my manager is making me do this and I hate it. Or b) Is this how to look sexy?

It has to be the most awkward looking shoot that I have seen. Who would have guessed flapping about on wires above the olympic stadium would have come to this.

2006-09-19T11:34:00.000+08:00

My opinion on the first ever sandwhich.....I was just considering what was in the first ever sandwhich made (which I assume would have been for the Earl of Sandwhich). My guess would have been roast beef. A work colleague has suggested it would have been roast lamb. We both agree that it probably would have been meat but my colleague believes lamb was far more prevalent in ye olde times. But it was for an Earl, surely he could have afforded the luxury of dead cow. Maybe we will never know.

2006-09-14T12:40:00.000+08:00

My opinion on the AFL.....is that I actually do not like it. Although my last few posts may appear to suggest otherwise, it is just a relic of the fact that I have been following the swans for so long (and hate the eagles so much) that I felt a need to comment. I do however love aussie rules football.

Let me expand. The AFL decided at some point that all teams should have equal opportunities and the comp should be run so that each team will win the premiership once every twenty years or so. What they have achieved, is that now the AFL represents nothing to anybody except for jumper colours. The draft system now means that all clubs are no longer required to do anything! no player development....no community assistance and no need to even win games anymore. Just come last and watch all the great kids roll in to the club next year. This means that the clubs are no longer community based like they used to be, in fact, very few players actually play for the club where they grew up and so the result is that somebody who supports Fremantle for instance is just following a bunch of blokes wearing Freo colours who come from Adelaide, Melbourne, Canberra, etc. What is the bloody point.

My suggestion - The first two picks for each club in the draft must come from your zone or local area and these 'zone draftees' would be excluded from the salary cap for as long as they remain at the club. By doing this the clubs would start to invest again in the grassroots game to make sure that there zone produces the best juniors. The teams would again be made up predominantly of players that actually represent the teams zone. If players are worthy of a pay rise, they will receive it to keep them at their club to not disadvantage the individuals.

Any thoughts or suggestions are welcome.

2006-09-11T13:01:00.000+08:00

Living in the west and following a team from the east presents a wonderful arbitrage opportunity at the TAB of all places. You see, because the state is full of parochial supporters who refuse to gamble against their own team, it forces down the odds of the encumbant Eagles and Dockers. Thus presenting higher odds for other sides such as the Swans and the Crows. I have been playing this off for some time now and have been able to gain access to odds far better than my eastern states breathren. This opportunity has never been better than finals time this year where a double win of Adelaide and Sydney had odds of $5.20 as a multi bet, which is unbealivable considering both teams were always going to win, as Hazel would know being the form tipster in the country. Unfortunately I was not able to make it to the TAB in time for the Adelaide game, but I was still able to get odds of a massive $2.85 for the Swannies!!

Will the westies ever learn? Let's just hope that the Eagles make the GF again.

2006-09-07T13:56:00.000+08:00

Well I have managed to take possession of three of the hottest tickets in town for this weekend's match of the Swans vs the Wet Scrotes. Just a real shame that I don't actually have any friends and so I have two tickets too many.

At least I will have lots of room to stretch my legs out. I may even manage a nap during the half-time break.

2006-08-29T13:20:00.000+08:00

My opinion on....Telstra 3.

The government made a lot of money by selling shares in T1 and T2. They also have a huge stockpile of cash from these sales, tax receipts and the future fund. What would I do if I was John Howard do you ask?

a) Buy back all of the shares that you have previously sold in Telstra. The idea has always been buy low, sell high. They mastered the sell high strategy with T2 so they should just buy them back at a significant discount now. Then put the prices of all services back to where they were before price regulation ruined their monopoly (as you control the ACCC anyway), reap the dividend payments for a while, then sell them again at $7.80 in a few years time.

b) trim my eyebrows

2006-08-29T13:12:00.000+08:00

Just for the record, I ran the city to surf on the weekend with the little-red-haired girl. Overall we were quite pleased with our time of 1hr 15mins.

And we only cheated by cutting one corner as well, saving at least 20 metres!!

My favourite part though is tossing the little plastic cups over my shoulder after a drink station. It is good to pretend to be the deek.

Mimicing the actions of Australian of the Year is fun. Next year I think I might try to create a spray on skin for burns victims.

2006-08-23T12:47:00.000+08:00

Well I have been 'outed' by Hazel to the blogging world. I think now is the time to also let both Hazel and Grumpy know that I have for some time now, attempted to discover the real life two. Unfortunately as yet, all I have been able to do is drive around the greater Perth area, windows down listening out for Peter Gabriel and inspecting how well alinged the bins are.

So far no luck.

2006-08-18T12:16:00.000+08:00

As most West Australian's would be well aware, there is a significant skills shortage in this state, making the requirements for employment a little lower than many employers would hope for. That however does not excuse the following lines in a cover letters I recently received.

"...I am writing to introduce myself and hope you will consider my application i've always been interested but how ever no experience but i hope thats want stop you." ..I don't think your experience is the main issue here. Punctuation would however be appreciated.

"My earlier job has been exciting, and I'm sure the next opportunity will hold even more promise." More exciting than Bakers delight?

"I'd appreciate your thoughts and ideas...." Some how, I am not sure that you would.

2006-08-11T09:11:00.000+08:00

Well it is called 'my opinion on everything' so I may as well actually expose some of my opinions.

For years I have had a problem with how some words are pluralised, the worst case of this is house. If mouse becomes mice, surely then house should become hice.

"Look at all the beautiful hice in this suburb"

You know it makes sense!!

2006-08-08T13:43:00.000+08:00

So my devious plan has already yielded at least a one hit return thanks to 'Jason the wikinator'.......Now we ar starting to move to the preverbial greener pastures.

In happy news, it is census night tonight. I LOVE census night. For some reason I have a fascination with statistics and government duties. These two less than exciting topics come together in the five yearly celebration that is "CENSUS NIGHT". Ever since Ernie Dingo hit the small screen talking about the census fairies, I have had a weird electric feeling in my pants. That is how much I love census night!!

The questions.

The information.

The statistical references.

How can you not get excited?!?!

Unfortunately I will be out a little late tonight and so wont be home till after dinner time. I have had to tell the little red-haired girl not to start the census without me. In a trade off for this assistance I have had to agree to let her be 'person number 1' as a sign of my love for her. Still, the demotion to 'person number 2' is far less of a hurtful experience than it would be to miss out on the filling out of the forms all together.

The smell of the ink, the ruffling of the paper, the little confidential envelope to seal the forms in....it is all just so exciting.

And I wonder why nobody reads my blog.

2006-08-03T12:57:00.000+08:00

Updated of Plan :

Went to search for other unsuspecting bloggers to manipulate. Got distracted by the funniest page on the internet.

No progress made as yet.

2006-08-01T13:19:00.000+08:00

So it appears that nobody is actually reading my blog (I know because I put a ticker on it), so what can I do about it.

I could tell all my friends and family about it, but the facts are that this is a anonymous blog. Having my friends and family read it could be embarrassing for both them and me. Even though nothing juicy has come out yet, it well could do in the future. Sort of like Nick Lachey asking Jessica Simpson to read his blog.

I could tell all the other bloggers about my new blog, but that doesn't feel right though. You see, I have been reading and commenting on some blogs for a while now, but to turn around and ask them to start reading my blog, after months of commenting seems to me to be shallow and self-promoting. I mean, why should they have to read mine just because I read theirs. They may hate me and my comments anyway.

"So what's the plan Spud" I hear you ask. Well dear reader (ie ME!) I plan on finding some new blogs, ones that I feel indifferent towards. Introducing myself with one or two insightful and yet mildly funny comments, waiting for the "who are you?" follow-up, and then unleashing the tome that is my current blog.

The only issue with this is that I have now placed my plan on this blog for all my new converters to see, thusly resulting in them hating me and never coming back to my blog.......And so the cycle continues. But at least my precious ticker will have received a few hits.

2006-07-26T13:41:00.000+08:00

I now have something that has fired my up people........INFLATION! Some of you may not care for the financial analysis of everything so hopefully it is suffice to say that the price of fuel and bananas have gone through the roof. The CPI (inflation rate) has increased 4% over the past year and as Gwen Stafani would say "This s**t is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S". Last March Larry took it upon himself to destroy Australia's banana growing industry which has caused a spike price rise of 250%. Recently, I felt like eating a banana because it had been so long since I last had one, but when I got to the shops I discovered to my surprise, that at A$18 a kg for bananas, I would much rather drink a fancy pants bottle of wine than eat a kilo of bananas. After all they are both high in potassium.

So what will the reserve bank do about it do I hear you ask? Well there regular meeting will be next Tuesday and they must surely increase interest rates, but will 25 basis points be enough, not in my opinion, I am asking for 50 (as if it is some kind of public opinion poll). Take note those with home loans, FIX YOUR RATES TODAY.

Furthermore, Perth property prices have now increased to be more expensive than Melbourne, making Perth the second most expensive in Australia only just lagging those poorly-lifestyled over-worked Syndeyites. When the bloody hell did Perth become a city?!?! I have spent all my time thinking it was just a country town with a bad attitude. It is not actually important but all the residents think it is......Similar to New Zealand really.

2006-07-25T13:28:00.000+08:00

Who would have ever guessed that blogging would be such a difficult pastime? I am only 3 entries in and I think may have run out of material.

2006-07-20T13:38:00.000+08:00

Q. What should one do when you have a crummy day, the stock market falls by another 20 points after five days of falling stright, it takes longer than it should to get home and you forgot to defrost any meat for dinner?

A. Go to the casino, drink a pint of beer and visit the high class all you can eat buffet. If there is one thing I love it is all I can eat!

2006-07-19T13:34:00.000+08:00

As I have mentioned, I am an avid blog reader, so here are the blogs I love.

1. Bex and A Good Lie Down - This was one of the first blogs I got in to (although it took a long while to leave my first comment). Witty, concise and imaginative. This has spawned other great blogs such as grumpy her man's blog, who felt the need to run a concurrent blog so as to present a balance point of view to statements made in the first blog. I think Grumpy is now actually my preferred blog of the two though as I too am a fan of all things rugby & medieval and I also like the dry one-liners.

2. Blackpool or Bust - Great blog from somebody passionate about politics, global issues, swearing and crisps.

3. But slenderly - Really well written from a surprisingly down to earth American (who would have thought they existed!!)

4. Cupcake central - An absolute wordsmith. Every post is written so imaginatively. I also love the off-centre point of view that Cupcake has. Not regularly updated, but always a must read when it is.

5. Miss Hag - This is one very special person. Her blog contains such personification of topics. She can bring real emotion to any subject including but not limited to how hair smells.

6. Post Secret - Not a blog as such, but this site is an absolute must read each Monday morning.

7. Pussycat - My favourite of all the blogs that I read. This one time Aussie but now Scottish lass is one of the greatest writers I have found, blog or otherwise. I lost months of my life just scrolling back through her archives to make sure I didn't miss one single syllable. I laughed, I cried, I fell asleep, then I laughed, then I had something to eat, then I laughed again.

That list is just a few of the collection I am currently loving and recommend to everybody, but in no particular order. Hopefully soon I will be able to actually post something interesting on my own blog.

2006-07-18T13:44:00.000+08:00

I am a big fan of blogs world-wide and I am an avid daily reader of many of them. So for some months now I have contemplated creating my very own blog, and it has regularly been suggested to me by friends, family and possibly enemies that I do blog, but there are quite a few reasons why I have yet to do so. So for my very first entry I figured that I may as well list all the reasons and then nobody can ever complain that I led them astray or they thought it might have been different.

1. I do not have the witty turn of phrase that so many of the writers do that I enjoy. For example http://www.shauny.org/pussycat/ is a fantastic writer and a blog that I will never match up to. I feel this will leave my blog tasteless and boring, like rice bubbles.

2. I am quite a lazy person when it comes to 'doing stuff'. So in all likelihood I may go months at a time without adding another post. If you decide to be a dedicated reader of this blog then you will just have to accept that reality.

3. Because of the laziness mentioned above, it may also be likely that I will not do interesting things that are worthwhile blog fodder. So even if I do post, there is a significant risks that the post is just drivel.

4. The absolute mocking fear exists that nobody will ever leave a comment or even become a dedicated reader. Just one will do!!

5. My pattern of thought can be spurious and poorly linked. In a blog environment where you are meant to simply record your thoughts for the moment I am not sure how accepting the masses will be to me commenting on one thing (such as Bill Murray) before completly changing tack to another thing (like ascorbic acid).

Well at least I feel that I have now given fore-warning so that any further complaints can always be referred back to Post #1. At least we are starting this journey on an even footing. I love you all!!