Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Tea lady

There has been some talk recently about practical jokes that have been played. I must admit, I do love a good practical joke and I am actually quite good at creating and delivering the necessary evilness to do so. But growing up as the youngest of three boys, I think it is fair to say that for most of my early life, I was on the wrong end of the joke. That however takes nothing away from the magnificence of some of the work the elderly duo accomplished.

My favourite (and I can still recall the exact situation to this day) occured when I would just a wee fellow of I am guessing 5 years old. My eldest brother's basketball team had made it to the state championships and my family and the team were travelling about 5 hours by train from Sydney to Albury for the competition. All of the kids (including myself) had of course left our parents to wonder the train, no doubt after I cried to my parents that they wouldn't let me tag along. It was then that they all spotted this little old lady on the train who must have been at least 90. My brothers took it upon themselves to hatch a plan so all their mates can laugh along.

They convinced me to approach the lady and ask her if she has ever had a "cup of tea", which to a five year old is a perfectly reasonable question (even the 90 year old would be alright with the idea I figured). However, and here is the gag, they told me that there was a special word that old ladies use for tea, so I should ask her if she has ever had one of those.

I will never forget the look on the poor ladies face when I asked her.........

Excuse me - Have you ever had an erection?

Monday, November 10, 2008

New post....yay

So on Friday, my firm which employs(ed) about 45 people, decide it right to let about 10 of them go due to the financial crisis. Have you heard about that? Speak to Kochie if you haven't. Well anyway, One of the girls let go is the daughter of a good friend who I was meeting, as well as about 25 other blokes, at the pub Friday night (It was a football club catch-up and a good chance to get away from the women folk). To be fair, he was completely kind about the whole thing, even though I felt like a turd.

So I had about 10 pints of beer to calm the old nervous system. It is not a cool position to be telling people that their job no longer exists after all the time they have put in (you become as popular as a midget gynaecologist....not sure why they are unpopular but I dont think they would do much business for some reason). It makes you feel like a right arse actually. So most of the guys started leaving by around 10:30 for other places and I was nearly on my way home, when a friend who had been in Toronto for about 2 years showed up unexpectedly. He had only just flown in that day. Of course, I had to have another few after that.

All compliments must go to the little-red-haired girl though, who not only did not complain about me arriving home at 3 in the morning, but had ordered 2 large pizza's and left them out for me. The next morning I woke with a hangover and only 1 hour to go before I was due to start bidding on a home auction* to the pretty girl telling me "I knew you wouldn't have dinner, so thought you might like some pizza when you get home". If I had of known marriage would have been like this I would have done it years ago!

*More on this story in a later post...I promise to get to it before June next year.